Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Some Things That Bear Mention
Life is going along pretty smoothly, all things considered. It figures that around the time I finally adjust to my schedule, it's coming to a close. I have one more actual class session (this Thursday), and then it's time for finals after dead week. Fortunately, I should be able to get in lots of reading and study time in the next couple of Thursdays, since I'm also trying to get ready for a Team Standard Pro Tour Qualifier on the 6th of May.
Basically, I've been sick twice in the last week and consequently playing a lot of Kingdom Hearts, which is much better when your character sucks at magic. It's strange how compelling this game is, since it's a liberal serving of most of Disney's animated characters and some of Square's more recognizable faces from Final Fantasy VII, VIII, and X. The combat is ho-hum, though occasionally intense. Since I'm a fighter, it mostly consists of me targeting a guy and pressing X repeatedly until he's dead. Then repeat. Of course, most people don't play Action/RPGs for the combat (Grandia 2 being the exception), and the story/setting is what keeps it going. Great stuff, and I'm glad I gave it a second chance. Maybe it just seems easier now that I've beaten Ninja Gaiden and Metroid Prime on Hard.
This weekend was the Dissension pre-release, and it was the most fun one yet. I didn't open much good stuff, but I had a blast all day, and the new way of running the flights made everything go much smoother. Good times.
I was a little...off...last week. I don't know how else to describe it, really. Amanda kept asking me to talk about what was wrong, and I really didn't know what to say. I just felt angry and depressed, but there really was no good reason to feel that way. Maybe I was predicting that I would be sick this week. Who knows?
Basically, I've been sick twice in the last week and consequently playing a lot of Kingdom Hearts, which is much better when your character sucks at magic. It's strange how compelling this game is, since it's a liberal serving of most of Disney's animated characters and some of Square's more recognizable faces from Final Fantasy VII, VIII, and X. The combat is ho-hum, though occasionally intense. Since I'm a fighter, it mostly consists of me targeting a guy and pressing X repeatedly until he's dead. Then repeat. Of course, most people don't play Action/RPGs for the combat (Grandia 2 being the exception), and the story/setting is what keeps it going. Great stuff, and I'm glad I gave it a second chance. Maybe it just seems easier now that I've beaten Ninja Gaiden and Metroid Prime on Hard.
This weekend was the Dissension pre-release, and it was the most fun one yet. I didn't open much good stuff, but I had a blast all day, and the new way of running the flights made everything go much smoother. Good times.
I was a little...off...last week. I don't know how else to describe it, really. Amanda kept asking me to talk about what was wrong, and I really didn't know what to say. I just felt angry and depressed, but there really was no good reason to feel that way. Maybe I was predicting that I would be sick this week. Who knows?
I had a rather disconcerting dream the other night. In fact, there are two dreams I have had in the last week that really bothered and stuck with me, which is highly unusual. I typically have very action-adventure and horror movie style dreams, wherein I am fighting against something or running, jumping, and flying in various ways. These were very different, which is why I recall them more, I suupose. The first one involved a sort of live-action battle game, taking place on an open field. There were several young children involved, and I think I was supposed to be watching them - it must have been a school group or something. Unfortunately, the weapons turned out to be real (actually, I think they changed in mid-dream as things often do) and one of the kids got hurt, and I consequently got yelled at a lot. The other dream was so literal, I thought it was actually happening. I was in a new class at seminary, and I couldn't stop laughing, so the teacher kept deducting points from my grade. I remember being really scared that I was going to fail, but I couldn't keep from giggling. Very weird.
Non-academic goals for this week: Going to see Silent Hill, actually making Top 8 at FNM, and getting together with my team to talk some stategery. Next Time: Hitting the Books, or How Judo Helped Me Study.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Boring Title
Well, that hard work with the paper payed off - I was one of "very few" (prof's words) people in the class to get a 14/15, which was the highest grade as no one earned a 15. Nice! I also earned an 85 on my Intro to Theology midterm, mostly on the back of some dubious vocabulary terms. Oh well. That just means I need to do a little better for my final, as hopefully I'll pull off my paper grade again. Speaking of papers, I have two to write for next Thursday, which is a bit of a bummer. There's only three sessions of class left, which is very surprising. It feels like I just started a couple weeks ago! I'm looking forward to the end of the semester, since I won't have this ridiculous schedule again until fall, and even then it won't be as bad.
Amanda and I took some time to talk about our classes in quite a bit of depth last night, as there is a fair amount of interesting overlap between them. I'm very fortunate to have such an intelligent and eloquent woman as my wife. Sometimes I forget that, since we hardly want to talk most of the time when we get time together. It's usually been spent watching a movie or walking through some interesting location rather than focusing on each other or school. It was refreshing.
Not too much more to report. Easter weekend will be pretty busy, and I'm going to be spending most of my Sunday this week studying and writing my papers. But at least I'll get them done early. ;)
Amanda and I took some time to talk about our classes in quite a bit of depth last night, as there is a fair amount of interesting overlap between them. I'm very fortunate to have such an intelligent and eloquent woman as my wife. Sometimes I forget that, since we hardly want to talk most of the time when we get time together. It's usually been spent watching a movie or walking through some interesting location rather than focusing on each other or school. It was refreshing.
Not too much more to report. Easter weekend will be pretty busy, and I'm going to be spending most of my Sunday this week studying and writing my papers. But at least I'll get them done early. ;)
Thursday, March 23, 2006
I am from the Nation of Procrasti
Here's the part where I give The Setup, which concerns a paper I wrote recently (today in fact*) for my congregational leadership class. Basically, it relates to a marvelous book I have (mostly) read called Procrastination. It's one thing to have a problem so nebulous you can honestly say you don't know what to do about it, it's another entirely to have it smack you in the face in such a way as to disallow any possibility of denying the problem and its sources. Here's my (slightly modified) paper, since most of what I want to say I've already said there.
Procrastination has long been one of the most dominating and fear-inducing problems in my life. I have spent countless hours under the dread of knowing there is important work to be done, but somehow being unable to motivate myself to do it. In my experience, I often felt like the problem was not worth dealing with, in partbecause it happened so naturally, but also in no small part because I almost always wound up completing my tasks or outlasting the need to complete them. This drew me towards choosing Procrastination, by Jane Burka and Lenora Yuen. The selection of this particular book was my attempt to confront and conquer the way in which I postponed doing things until the last possible opportunity. As I read further in the book, I came to several major realizations regarding not only my procrastination behaviors, but other important insights into my personality and time-management skills as well. The book is divided into two main sections: the reasons behind procrastination and methods to combat procrastination. Each of these sections offered me insight into why I put things off and how I can better manage my time and my life.
Based on their observation, research, and interviews with procrastinators, the authors suggest three main driving forces or focal points for procrastination. Essentially, these are fear-based motivations used as subdivisions of the reasons why people procrastinate. There are those who are motivated by performance (either success or failure), those who are motivated by the need for autonomy, and those who are motivated by relational needs (either attachment or separation). One of the reasons why this book has been so helpful is that it allows me to see aspects of myself as they relate not only to procrastination, but other parts of my life as well. The first motivator spoke volumes to me concerning my procrastinatory habits. Those whose procrastination is motivated by performance are often driven by a deep seated perfectionism, which is something I never would have suspected from myself. I always viewed myself as fairly relaxed, but I came to realize it was frequently out of a fear of failure that I had trouble beginning or continuing with elective projects. As the authors demonstrate is often the case with performance-based procrastinators, I often have an unrealistic all-or-nothing attitude when it comes to optional projects or things I might be giving a try. I used to write fiction, poetry, music, and games for fun. I rarely do this anymore because I have begun to feel that my efforts are never going to meet my lofty expectations of them, and consequently I rarely begin and almost never complete such a project anymore. Yuen and Burka assert that procrastinators of this type equate performance as being equal to their concept of self-worth. In other words, they are putting their value as a person on trial each time they participate in something they feel can have a monitored level of performance, whether this is the case or not. This was a particularly staggering concept for me to grasp, as it has been resoundingly true yet beyond my notice for most of my life. It was uncanny how accurately the “fear of failure” motivations corresponded with my own personal experiences, and I noted this for later examination.
After the level of personal insight in the pervious chapter, the next two motivators were rather different from anything in my experience. In describing the material in those chapters to a friend, I likened it to a group counseling session. I had my turn to receive personal, in-depth information, but I had to wait for more relevant information while others had a chance to discuss their own problems. Consequently, I have less of a personal level of commentary regarding the other two motivators. The second motivator is fear of losing the battle for autonomy. Essentially, the procrastinator sees people as intruding on his or her personal freedom, and thus delays action on things as a means of asserting independence from those people. In a way, procrastinators of this type also judge their self-worth by performance, but the authors suggest that in this case, the performance is the ability to maintain autonomy. The third type of motivator is fear of separation or fear of attachment. Individuals who fall into this category use procrastination as a means of maintaining their personal boundaries, either putting things off in order to spend time with people or putting things off to avoid people instead. Though the information here was useful to the extent that I may be prepared to help other procrastinators whose motivations differ from my own, the information on these motivators were not as relevant to me as the first.
The next chapter of the book dealt with locating the source of one’s procrastination, especially from a family context. Yuen and Burka identify five different themes that they have seen in talking with procrastinators about their family relationships. These themes correspond to the previous three chapters: pressuring, doubting (success and failure), controlling (autonomy), clinging, and distancing (separation and attachment). In reading these various themes, it became clear to me that the pressuring theme was the most dominant in my past, followed somewhat distantly by the doubting theme. My family always had high expectations of me which were based on previous performance, and I learned that I needed to always do better than I had before in order to satisfy them (and myself). When I did not perform up to those expectations, it would cast doubt on my abilities, making me less likely to perform in the future and increasing my own unrealistic expectations regarding my level of performance. As I was confronted with these realizations, I became better prepared to confront and conquer my procrastination, which was the focus of the second half of the book.
The first section here was designed to encourage reflection on the causes of procrastination. By examining specific incidents in the past, the authors aim to help the reader identify the causes and consequences of the procrastination. This section also included an examination of areas, style, and excuses for procrastinating intended to encourage further insight into the exact method by which the reader procrastinates. Concluding the chapter is a section briefly discussing the most effective approach to the remainder of the book; in other words, a discussion of the best way to go about using the forthcoming methods to combat the nemesis of procrastination.
The next three chapters were organized to cover these aforementioned different approaches. After reading through them, I elected to try out two combined methods to help fight my own procrastination. The biggest help was a surprising technique called the “un-schedule.” Instead of creating a schedule or calendar that contains the things I should be doing, I start with an inventory of what I am already doing. Once I began to fill in the list, I really began to realize just how I spend my time and where my priorities are. This made it so much easier to consider planing my time in advance, because I knew when it would be easiest to do various activities I would normally postpone, as well as encourage me that I actually have a lot more time than it usually seems.
The book ended with three chapters closely concerned with how procrastinating affects personal lifestyle. There was information on dealing with stress, using others for accountability, and dealing with other people who are procrastinators. The most useful portion here was the chapter on stress, which was very useful to help me recognize when I begin to stress about a project or activity, which helped me be more aware of things I might try to put off.
Procrastination was an excellent choice for me at this time in my life. The book offered several insights into the reasons why I so frequently avoid doing seemingly menial or simple activities, and has given me great hope for fighting these behaviors in the future. When the time comes for me to be in a position of congregational leadership, the last thing I want to worry about is putting off the important projects because I am afraid of failure. Going into doing God’s work knowing that I will not, in fact cannot, be perfect in everything I do frees me to focus on the work itself. Especially when I am in a situation where other people rely on me to get things done, I cannot afford to continue to delay essential activities. Confronting this issue and using the techniques in this book has helped me begin to establish better habits now that I can use to help me in the work of ministry that I will be undertaking in the years to come.
*WARNING!! A Huge Battleship Irony is approaching fast!
Procrastination has long been one of the most dominating and fear-inducing problems in my life. I have spent countless hours under the dread of knowing there is important work to be done, but somehow being unable to motivate myself to do it. In my experience, I often felt like the problem was not worth dealing with, in partbecause it happened so naturally, but also in no small part because I almost always wound up completing my tasks or outlasting the need to complete them. This drew me towards choosing Procrastination, by Jane Burka and Lenora Yuen. The selection of this particular book was my attempt to confront and conquer the way in which I postponed doing things until the last possible opportunity. As I read further in the book, I came to several major realizations regarding not only my procrastination behaviors, but other important insights into my personality and time-management skills as well. The book is divided into two main sections: the reasons behind procrastination and methods to combat procrastination. Each of these sections offered me insight into why I put things off and how I can better manage my time and my life.
Based on their observation, research, and interviews with procrastinators, the authors suggest three main driving forces or focal points for procrastination. Essentially, these are fear-based motivations used as subdivisions of the reasons why people procrastinate. There are those who are motivated by performance (either success or failure), those who are motivated by the need for autonomy, and those who are motivated by relational needs (either attachment or separation). One of the reasons why this book has been so helpful is that it allows me to see aspects of myself as they relate not only to procrastination, but other parts of my life as well. The first motivator spoke volumes to me concerning my procrastinatory habits. Those whose procrastination is motivated by performance are often driven by a deep seated perfectionism, which is something I never would have suspected from myself. I always viewed myself as fairly relaxed, but I came to realize it was frequently out of a fear of failure that I had trouble beginning or continuing with elective projects. As the authors demonstrate is often the case with performance-based procrastinators, I often have an unrealistic all-or-nothing attitude when it comes to optional projects or things I might be giving a try. I used to write fiction, poetry, music, and games for fun. I rarely do this anymore because I have begun to feel that my efforts are never going to meet my lofty expectations of them, and consequently I rarely begin and almost never complete such a project anymore. Yuen and Burka assert that procrastinators of this type equate performance as being equal to their concept of self-worth. In other words, they are putting their value as a person on trial each time they participate in something they feel can have a monitored level of performance, whether this is the case or not. This was a particularly staggering concept for me to grasp, as it has been resoundingly true yet beyond my notice for most of my life. It was uncanny how accurately the “fear of failure” motivations corresponded with my own personal experiences, and I noted this for later examination.
After the level of personal insight in the pervious chapter, the next two motivators were rather different from anything in my experience. In describing the material in those chapters to a friend, I likened it to a group counseling session. I had my turn to receive personal, in-depth information, but I had to wait for more relevant information while others had a chance to discuss their own problems. Consequently, I have less of a personal level of commentary regarding the other two motivators. The second motivator is fear of losing the battle for autonomy. Essentially, the procrastinator sees people as intruding on his or her personal freedom, and thus delays action on things as a means of asserting independence from those people. In a way, procrastinators of this type also judge their self-worth by performance, but the authors suggest that in this case, the performance is the ability to maintain autonomy. The third type of motivator is fear of separation or fear of attachment. Individuals who fall into this category use procrastination as a means of maintaining their personal boundaries, either putting things off in order to spend time with people or putting things off to avoid people instead. Though the information here was useful to the extent that I may be prepared to help other procrastinators whose motivations differ from my own, the information on these motivators were not as relevant to me as the first.
The next chapter of the book dealt with locating the source of one’s procrastination, especially from a family context. Yuen and Burka identify five different themes that they have seen in talking with procrastinators about their family relationships. These themes correspond to the previous three chapters: pressuring, doubting (success and failure), controlling (autonomy), clinging, and distancing (separation and attachment). In reading these various themes, it became clear to me that the pressuring theme was the most dominant in my past, followed somewhat distantly by the doubting theme. My family always had high expectations of me which were based on previous performance, and I learned that I needed to always do better than I had before in order to satisfy them (and myself). When I did not perform up to those expectations, it would cast doubt on my abilities, making me less likely to perform in the future and increasing my own unrealistic expectations regarding my level of performance. As I was confronted with these realizations, I became better prepared to confront and conquer my procrastination, which was the focus of the second half of the book.
The first section here was designed to encourage reflection on the causes of procrastination. By examining specific incidents in the past, the authors aim to help the reader identify the causes and consequences of the procrastination. This section also included an examination of areas, style, and excuses for procrastinating intended to encourage further insight into the exact method by which the reader procrastinates. Concluding the chapter is a section briefly discussing the most effective approach to the remainder of the book; in other words, a discussion of the best way to go about using the forthcoming methods to combat the nemesis of procrastination.
The next three chapters were organized to cover these aforementioned different approaches. After reading through them, I elected to try out two combined methods to help fight my own procrastination. The biggest help was a surprising technique called the “un-schedule.” Instead of creating a schedule or calendar that contains the things I should be doing, I start with an inventory of what I am already doing. Once I began to fill in the list, I really began to realize just how I spend my time and where my priorities are. This made it so much easier to consider planing my time in advance, because I knew when it would be easiest to do various activities I would normally postpone, as well as encourage me that I actually have a lot more time than it usually seems.
The book ended with three chapters closely concerned with how procrastinating affects personal lifestyle. There was information on dealing with stress, using others for accountability, and dealing with other people who are procrastinators. The most useful portion here was the chapter on stress, which was very useful to help me recognize when I begin to stress about a project or activity, which helped me be more aware of things I might try to put off.
Procrastination was an excellent choice for me at this time in my life. The book offered several insights into the reasons why I so frequently avoid doing seemingly menial or simple activities, and has given me great hope for fighting these behaviors in the future. When the time comes for me to be in a position of congregational leadership, the last thing I want to worry about is putting off the important projects because I am afraid of failure. Going into doing God’s work knowing that I will not, in fact cannot, be perfect in everything I do frees me to focus on the work itself. Especially when I am in a situation where other people rely on me to get things done, I cannot afford to continue to delay essential activities. Confronting this issue and using the techniques in this book has helped me begin to establish better habits now that I can use to help me in the work of ministry that I will be undertaking in the years to come.
*WARNING!! A Huge Battleship Irony is approaching fast!
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Total Domination
The last couple weeks have been pretty crazy, since my sister (allisonhoffmann.blogspot.com) has arrived back in the States with her nutty British boyfriend, Dom. So there's been a lot of family visiting and a lot less time for doing schoolwork. Thankfully I mananged to get my paper done for last week just fine, but I am a little behind on my reading. That's ok - Amanda is going out of town this weekend, so I will probably have some time to get some serious reading done without her around as a distraction. And I mean that in a very nice way. Anyway, Dom's a really nice guy even though he talks funny. Any person who makes Bangers and Mash (sounds like a great name for a band) as well as he does has to be worth keeping around. Plus he's great with kids. Nice job, Al. I might get more insight when I meet my sister for coffee on Sunday. But tonight is shrimp, spetzle and pork loin + karaoke at my mom's place. God help us all.
I also had a very long and involved dream last night concerning werewolves and covert military operations. I did a little bit of running and jumping over the heavily-booby-trapped front yard of a mysterious mansion complex while avoiding the guards and the similarly mysterious young woman (rogue agent?) that was trailing me. During the course of the dream, I contracted lycanthropy, talked back to a beligerent superior officer, and successfully hid in plain site thanks to my ninja-like stealth abilities. Seriously, if I ever find a way to record my dreams, I'd make a mint selling this to stuff to Hollywood.
I'm heading into FNM #3 in a row after back to back wins, but the good players will be back in Plano, so I'm not getting my hopes up too much. Well, I can hardly complain about the goodies I've gotten in the last few weeks. I'm having some friends over on Saturday, too so that should be a lot of fun. When I've got the whole weekend to budget, it's not hard to manage my time the way I like.
Of course, I do still have laundry and reading to do. A grad student's work is never done.
I also had a very long and involved dream last night concerning werewolves and covert military operations. I did a little bit of running and jumping over the heavily-booby-trapped front yard of a mysterious mansion complex while avoiding the guards and the similarly mysterious young woman (rogue agent?) that was trailing me. During the course of the dream, I contracted lycanthropy, talked back to a beligerent superior officer, and successfully hid in plain site thanks to my ninja-like stealth abilities. Seriously, if I ever find a way to record my dreams, I'd make a mint selling this to stuff to Hollywood.
I'm heading into FNM #3 in a row after back to back wins, but the good players will be back in Plano, so I'm not getting my hopes up too much. Well, I can hardly complain about the goodies I've gotten in the last few weeks. I'm having some friends over on Saturday, too so that should be a lot of fun. When I've got the whole weekend to budget, it's not hard to manage my time the way I like.
Of course, I do still have laundry and reading to do. A grad student's work is never done.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
A Whole New Ball Game
I think I'm going to have to start going about this differently. I just don't take the time to write something, and then by the time I decide to blog again, I've got WAY too much to talk about. Well, I think I'm just going to have to make the effort to do this daily. And to do it for me. To have something inanimate to talk to that doesn't care really what I'm saying. It's a sounding board for my own sanity in a way that no one else can really replace (sorry folks). To those two people (conservative estimate) who read this, thanks for reading, but you've been part of the problem. Sort of. Let me explain before the gloves come off...
See, this blog was supposed to be for me the whole time. It's not meant to be like my sister's, which was sort of like a mass e-mail. It's really just meant to be a way for me to tackle the random detritous that accumulates in my thought processes from day to day. A verbal sort of housecleaning. I should be able to do short stories, poetry, gaming, God; anything I bloody well want to do here. It's my space after. (not myspace; I have an account, but one blog's enough for me for right now).
Maybe if I do a word of the day, I can entice myself to be more regular about updating this stupid thing. I mean, I really do like it. I enjoy getting things off my chest, and I LOVE writing. It's one of the few things I consider myself to excel at, and I really don't do it nearly as often as I should, unless one counts message boards, which I don't. So maybe I'll get some ficiton or something going here. I just need to stop worrying about being unoriginal or filling people in on my life and just WRITE.
I'm not trying to discourage my friends and family (or, God help you, a fellow e-blogger who clicked "random blog") from coming here and reading this. Far from it. I'm simply chaging the format, shaking things up, doing it for myself.
Now that I've got that out of the way, where do I go from here? I've got a lot on my plate right now. I mean, there's the usual topic of the physical activities that I could go into, but that's the sort of small talk that I wind up repeating over and over again to people who don't care or care too much to hear such drivel. Time is like a recording of my life - I mean, there's a record of what I have physically done imprinted on the strands of time. That cannot be changed. Yesterday I worked out while watching The Two Towers, then took my wife to Denny's and gave her her Valentine's Day present a week early. The recording of time could tell you that. But what it doesn't tell you is that I was really depressed while I walked the dog. I tried to find a song to sing that was a cry to God for help, but I came up empty to I just tried to pray. Time won't tell you that I think Aragorn's an idiot for not picking Eowyn of Rohan. Nor will it express the excitement I felt when I purchased the first two direct-to-video Ju-on movies on ebay for five bucks.
Time records none of what matters, which is why I feel like this form of communication, even if it's to a monitor is much more important. It captures the emotinoal aspects of me; of who I am and what I want to do. I will not be constrained by the "here was my day" paradigm any more. If someone cares enough about what I did in and of itself, that person will find a way to ask me. Otherwise, a mere description of events is not enough to warrant such a waste of time as that.
I will say that I'm bloody sore from working out, since I have lacked the motivation to do so for more than a few minutes. Amanda has inspired me in new ways, however, with her amazing dedication to her new workout program. I guess I feel challenged. If she can be upbeat and happy about kicking her own butt to lose weight, then I can do the same thing to get in shape. It did put me in a better mood last night, so that's definitely a good thing.
I'm a little tapped out after all this expository explanation, so I think I'll just let this be enough for right now. I might jot down a little more later today, but for now, I think this is plenty. Hopefully, this is a new beginning for us all.
See, this blog was supposed to be for me the whole time. It's not meant to be like my sister's, which was sort of like a mass e-mail. It's really just meant to be a way for me to tackle the random detritous that accumulates in my thought processes from day to day. A verbal sort of housecleaning. I should be able to do short stories, poetry, gaming, God; anything I bloody well want to do here. It's my space after. (not myspace; I have an account, but one blog's enough for me for right now).
Maybe if I do a word of the day, I can entice myself to be more regular about updating this stupid thing. I mean, I really do like it. I enjoy getting things off my chest, and I LOVE writing. It's one of the few things I consider myself to excel at, and I really don't do it nearly as often as I should, unless one counts message boards, which I don't. So maybe I'll get some ficiton or something going here. I just need to stop worrying about being unoriginal or filling people in on my life and just WRITE.
I'm not trying to discourage my friends and family (or, God help you, a fellow e-blogger who clicked "random blog") from coming here and reading this. Far from it. I'm simply chaging the format, shaking things up, doing it for myself.
Now that I've got that out of the way, where do I go from here? I've got a lot on my plate right now. I mean, there's the usual topic of the physical activities that I could go into, but that's the sort of small talk that I wind up repeating over and over again to people who don't care or care too much to hear such drivel. Time is like a recording of my life - I mean, there's a record of what I have physically done imprinted on the strands of time. That cannot be changed. Yesterday I worked out while watching The Two Towers, then took my wife to Denny's and gave her her Valentine's Day present a week early. The recording of time could tell you that. But what it doesn't tell you is that I was really depressed while I walked the dog. I tried to find a song to sing that was a cry to God for help, but I came up empty to I just tried to pray. Time won't tell you that I think Aragorn's an idiot for not picking Eowyn of Rohan. Nor will it express the excitement I felt when I purchased the first two direct-to-video Ju-on movies on ebay for five bucks.
Time records none of what matters, which is why I feel like this form of communication, even if it's to a monitor is much more important. It captures the emotinoal aspects of me; of who I am and what I want to do. I will not be constrained by the "here was my day" paradigm any more. If someone cares enough about what I did in and of itself, that person will find a way to ask me. Otherwise, a mere description of events is not enough to warrant such a waste of time as that.
I will say that I'm bloody sore from working out, since I have lacked the motivation to do so for more than a few minutes. Amanda has inspired me in new ways, however, with her amazing dedication to her new workout program. I guess I feel challenged. If she can be upbeat and happy about kicking her own butt to lose weight, then I can do the same thing to get in shape. It did put me in a better mood last night, so that's definitely a good thing.
I'm a little tapped out after all this expository explanation, so I think I'll just let this be enough for right now. I might jot down a little more later today, but for now, I think this is plenty. Hopefully, this is a new beginning for us all.
Friday, January 27, 2006
I Am a Very Brite Student
Now that I've had two days of class, I feel like I can begin to make accurate statements concerning my seminary education. The first statement is, "Finally," and the second is, "Sweet." I'm extremely happy at TCU; I know this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. It's a long day, to be sure, but I've had a high energy level and have been handling the rest of my week just fine. James Avery was a good warm-up.
I don't have a whole lot else to report as far as specifics go, so I'll leave it at this for right now. Hopefully I'll get to commit more to e-paper soon.
In spite of everything else going on, I am oddly enough finding myself actually excited about Valentine's Day this year.
I don't have a whole lot else to report as far as specifics go, so I'll leave it at this for right now. Hopefully I'll get to commit more to e-paper soon.
In spite of everything else going on, I am oddly enough finding myself actually excited about Valentine's Day this year.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Survey Says
I should have gotten over these sorts of things in college, but honestly, every time I do one I learn something about myself. I wish I had more energy to talk about day one of TCU orientation today, but I'm sooooo tired. Anyway, here's the goods.
